Kindness is a Superpower

I found an article I’d kept from a Psychologies magazine from 2015 the other day, entitled ‘Small Acts of Kindness’. In the opening paragraph it says:

We might worry our acts of goodwill and benevolence are seen as weakness, yet kindness is a superpower. It has the ability not only to improve the lives of those we show it to, but to also make our own lives more fulfilled.

Acts of Kindness

Perhaps now in the year 2021 we have a greater understanding of the power of kindness – I cannot judge? There does seem, in my world, to have been many acts of kindness throughout the COVID pandemic and people giving more of themselves to help others. Kindness however isn’t talked about much or celebrated. We celebrate bravery and the kind acts people do to save others, we celebrate strength and endurance, people overcoming illness and the pursuit of a person in the face of adversity, but just everyday kindness goes by uncelebrated.

Maybe kindness doesn’t need celebrating, perhaps more of it just needs to flow in the world. I truly enjoy saying positive words to people, showing I care about their wellbeing, smiling at people as I pass them on the street or randomly saying a few words to a person I meet in my day. It gives me a warm glow and nice feeling. I remember when I was young, I was waiting for a bus and there was a child crying and the adult with them wasn’t engaging, maybe they were struggling or had had enough, who knows? But I couldn’t bare seeing this child cry and so I bent down and comforted them. In the end the child stopped crying and the adult re-engaged and all was well. I don’t really know what possessed me to do such a thing and perhaps these days I would think twice, but in that moment, I felt compelled to step-in, and I was left feeling that my act of kindness helped.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. (Mother Teresa)

To be on the receiving end of kindness when you most need it, also means a lot, and gives a person hope and that feeling that someone cares. I remember after my dad’s death having to go to the shop for milk and some groceries. It was the first time I’d been out in the world after it had happened. The man on the till, in the shop, asked me for my loyalty card and it felt alien. It was the last thing I felt like finding or thinking about. I just wanted to pay and go. I said it didn’t matter and I think from my behaviour he could tell I wasn’t quite altogether. He smiled at me, slowed his pace, offered to put my groceries in my bag and even asked if I wanted help with my bags to the car. The fact that I still remember this means that it meant a lot to me at the time. I could tell he understood I wasn’t right. I don’t think you can ever underestimate how meaningful simple exchanges and showing that you care can be.

Kindness shows the love people hold inside. Being kind and helping others is a strength.

Self-love

Even though acts of kindness are great and necessary in our world, nothing is more important than our relationship with ourselves. How kind you are to you, how you treat yourself, what you say to yourself, how much respect you show yourself - this is all fundamental to having good self-esteem, happiness, personal strength and power. Treating yourself well, being kind, saying encouraging and reassuring words to yourself help to make you feel good, raise your self-esteem and confidence.

The Psychologies magazine article says, ‘kindness in action cannot exist without kindness of thought first.’ So, learning to have positive self-talk is key. The article also says:

One act of kindness to yourself encourages more, in turn healing and bringing happiness to yourself and others. One of your gains will be to be kind to yourself in thought and action when you least feel like doing so.

This was one of the lessons I learnt on a self-esteem course I went on. We were tasked with doing something nice for ourselves every day for a week. For example, taking time to read a book, having a bath, getting a coffee out etc. It didn’t seem that hard when they set it, until I had to do it. Being down and depressed, the last thing you want or feel like doing is being kind to yourself. It felt indulgent and like I was unworthy. It is much easier to do nice things for others than for yourself. But the irony is that only when you truly learn to be kind to yourself and speak with encouragement, kindness and support will you then be able to nurture and help others, feel true joy and happiness, and live, in peace and harmony.

Self-care

The phrase self-care is popular these days. Try to discover what self-care looks like to you.

• What activities do you like doing that take your mind off other things? For example, gardening, walking, painting, baking, cooking, crafting etc.

• How can you serve yourself better? What can you do for yourself that feels indulgent? Paint your nails, have a bath, go for a massage or other treatment, read a book, buy something inexpensive that you normally wouldn’t treat yourself to.

• What do you do that will bring health and wellbeing? Meditation, mindfulness, exercise, deep breathing, healthy eating etc.

Reflect on what you personally enjoy and then devise your self-care activities. Self-care is a good start on the road to increasing and maintaining your self-esteem. Being kind to yourself and others really is a superpower and one we should all engage with.

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